Children should always expect from their parents love and care. But what if the parents are toxic? How would you feel if I told you that in 2018, the Administration of Children and families in the US Department of Health And Human Services reported that more than 80,000 children were officially counted as victims of emotional abuse?. Whether hurtful words are intended to cause pain or not. The can marks and memories from a short time to a lifetime.
Hurtful remarks can come from loved ones such as parents, and the psychological and emotional damage can be determined to a lot of people especially there children. The way parents raise their children and behave around them set up the basic ground which builds their personality and self- esteem. So, how do you know if a parent or caretaker is toxic?. Here are 5 things parents toxic parents say that can effect a child's life.
1) Offensive words towards their appearance
"You are ugly, too fat, too short or too skinny or you have ugly hair." Degrading a child based on their appearance will likely only increase their physical insecurity and worry about their body image. This could led to serious emotional issues such as eating disorders. Parents are supposed to teach their children how to love themselves no matter how they look on the outside.
2) Provocative Questions towards action
Like, "Why do you act so weird?", "why do you walk that way?" "Chew that way?, "Move or talk that way?" Children tend to believe anything their parents say, so sarcastic questions or remarks like these may make the child feel like there's something wrong with them. This make it very hard for the child to be themselves around people, even during their adulthood.
3) Selfish Wishes
" I wish you were never born, " I wish I had an abortion," " I regret having you," I wish you were a different child." Parents should never say something like this to a child. It will make them feel like they weren't supposed to exist in this world in the first place, and they don't deserve to be alive these remarks are so harmful to a child, to a human in general. They diminish their whole sense of identity, which can led to self harm and early depression. Instead parent should make them feel loved and valued.
4) Making a child feel like a burden/ hurdle
You cost me too much money. Its so hard to take care of you. having you exhausts me. If a parent says this to their child, the child, the child will feel like a burden. It will cause them to unconsciously hide their needs feelings and problem...just to avoid the wrath of the parent. Nemours, a non-profit children health care system, reported that lack of love and affection, or materialistic things are some of the cause for some children to lean on stealing and being abusive.
5) Unhealthy Comparison
"Why aren't you like your sibling, cousin, or the other kids?". the other kids are better than you." This will reduce a child's self-esteem substantially, makes them think that they will never bee good enough, no matter how hard thy try. Also Comparing with one another only promote an unhealthy relationship between them. This will cause them too feel jealousy and resentment towards each other. Siblings should be equally given the right to build their own independent identities.
