We all desire successful, flourishing relationships, yet we frequently unknowingly commit 'critical relationship mistakes' that take us in the opposite direction! How can we avoid such pitfalls?
1. Being too dependent, needy, and clingy
When you first meet someone it isn't unusual to require to spend tons of your time together, however, after a short time rather than bringing you closer as a few, an excessive amount of time together can make one, or both of you, feel stifled, smothered and entrapped. Not an honest thanks to beginning a relationship!
Solution: Take things slowly and let the connection unfold as you get to understand one another better. keep it up together with your life normally and provides one another space. don't neglect your work life, other relationships, or your own physical and emotional health.
2. Having unrealistic expectations
Wouldn't it be great if our love relationships could play out like they do in the movies? Unfortunately, Hollywood movie bliss is not the stuff of real life. Many of us believe that if there is enough initial attraction and common interests everything else will fall into place – another movie myth!
Solution: Understand that relationships take hard work. While chemistry and attraction are very important initially, what follows is even more so. Communication, mutual respect, commitment, and maturity and are the ingredients for real success.
3. Trying to change the other
Seeing your partner as an improvement project may be a recipe for disaster! nobody likes to think they have to be fine-tuned or changed. Needless to mention, it gives the impression that they're almost ok. If that is the case, why are you thereupon person?
Solution: Remind yourself that nobody is ideal, including you. Appreciate your partner’s good qualities and if somehow you're hurt or offended by certain words or behaviors, communicate it kindly and positively. Seek to tell instead of criticizing.
4. Letting yourself go
Quite often we get too comfortable with the opposite person and that we think we will just schlep around sloppily and neglect a number of our hygiene habits. Being comfortable and familiar is not any reason to urge lazy and begin taking the connection without any consideration. Doing so becomes yet one more big turnoff.
Solution: Understand that taking care of yourself still matters, maybe even more so. still, exercise, eat healthily, and have an interest in your work and therefore the world around you. Staying healthy and vibrant helps keep your relationship healthy and vibrant.
5. Being controlling or thinking you are always right
You are attempting to regulate your partner once you start telling them what to try to do and the way to try to do it; once you belittle or ostracize them, or once you make subtle implications that they're not up to snuff in a method or another. A relationship killer indeed!
Solution: Remind yourself you bought together for a presumably good reason - and again – nobody is perfect! Be respectful and realize that somehow your partner managed to survive so far without your interjection and a constant input. Acknowledge also, that you simply wouldn’t want to be treated reciprocally.
6. Becoming overly jealous or possessive
We can all be a touch jealous when someone flirts with our partner, or if our partner pays an excessive amount of attention to a different attractive person; however, if the jealousy gets out of control it can seriously undermine the connection. Out of control would come with hovering too closely over the partner in social situations, reading their mail, or e-mails, getting upset if the partner talks to, or pays attention to others, constantly questioning where they're going, or where they’ve been, and usually not trusting your partner. Insecurity and loss of trust can cause your partner to pack up and ultimately drive them away.
Solution: Understand that constantly second-guessing your partner's movements and actions may be a sign of your own insecurity and uneasiness so it’s time to figure on yourself and build self-confidence. Also, work on developing more, or deeper, interests so you don’t have time to let your imagination run wild. If, however, you think there really may be a problem and your partner is being dishonest or unfaithful, address and affect the difficulty. At best, it'll clear the air and convey you closer together, or, it'll indicate that it’s time to travel your separate ways.
Ultimately, much diligence goes into managing a successful relationship, however, being conscious of and understanding the critical mistakes which will erode it, is as important as taking the positive actions that allow it to thrive.